Willow421

But I'm back! I'm gonna hook up my scanner soon so I can start to upload some of my latest works! I miss it on here and I miss the art community, so I'm making an effort to reconnect! How has everyone been??!

I am sorry that I have been gone for so long. I have been out of touch and it's time to come back. Last October my ex-boyfriend left me while I was disabled and in the ER. He says he has his reasons, but to me he's just a pussy, excuse the expression please. Ran back to mommy and daddy when things got too difficult for him. Life became very difficult after he left cuz I was really dependent on him after my spine surgery. My life went right through the cracks when he left. I lost 40 pounds in a month because of all the stress I was under. I had a landlord messing with me so I would leave cuz I couldn't afford the apartment on my own. My cat went "missing" and was held for ransom and I never saw her again. Tink was 18 years old and I had had her since she was a kitten. I miss her. My car got sabotaged....I developed kidney stones and had to go to the ER 4 times in one month. 

After dealing with all this I decided to take the winter and go to Cali to recuperate - it helped, but my life was still up in the air when I got back home. I lost my best friend and also lost another good friend who was my neighbor growing up. I lost my other two cats and my ferret when she decided she didn't want to hold onto them anymore. 

Basically, I've lost everything and now I'm rebuilding. I met a wonderful man who is full of respect and honor, and he has a freaking backbone! He's a man, not a child and that is something I've needed for a very long time. For the first time in years I am genuinely happy! More to come!

We have finally moved out of the city!!! The whole eviction thing got worked out - no court date, we just have to pay the rent we owe in small increments Now all the fun of unpacking......and cleaning........yay........

Mom hasn't made much improvement since her stroke 6 months ago =\ She's so discouraged at this point that she doesn't do Physical Therapy every day Meanwhile Dad is home and alone and not doing too well himself =\ It sucks

I found out from the spine surgeon (after he saw my last MRI) that I will be having surgery to fix my back....not sure on the date yet, but he mentioned very soon. Gotta get this place cleaned up and unpacked to prepare for recovery time. It's so hard though b/c I'm in sooooo much pain

My little niece got a MLP today from a yard sale that allows you to draw your own designs on it, BUT it didn't come with markers or anything. What could she use to draw/paint on it?? She's so excited, I'm trying to get her an answer asap!

So much has happened this year. My mother suffered a terrible stroke on January 31st and it left her unable to talk, unable to use her right side or function on her own. She's been in a nursing home ever since she got out of the hospital. My Mom is 67 years old. I am 31. I always thought I'd have my parents. It never set in as reality that I may lose them some day until my mom had the stroke and we thought we were going to lose her. Nothing prepares you for it. It hurts so bad words cannot describe it. I just want to be able to call my mom and say hi, talk about my problems, ask her for advice.......but that can't happen cuz she can't talk. My mom loved to talk and it kills me to see her try and not be able to. It's frustrating for everybody, but my mom most of all. I just want to hear her speak again! This is so hard!

Meanwhile, my niece who was born with Kidney Disease isn't doing so well. She's having real troubles with her iron levels and at this point the doctors want her to go in for Intravenous Iron.....she's 9 years old and has to get a shot every day on top of having to take medicine orally. This kid has been through so much and they say she may start Dialysis soon. I'm freaking out! Poor Megan B. My heart breaks for that poor child over and over again. Not to mention what my sister (her mother) is going through having this all happening to her baby.

On a side note, our car was due for inspection in April and it's now the end of May.......we need 4 new tires before we can get it inspected and have it pass. We just don't have the funds.

We're being evicted by our friend that we've been renting from. We are very behind in the rent and she wants to sell this place anyway. What bothers me is that I've been trying for three months to find a new place, but nothing is in our budget.....why did our "friend" have to go over our head and have the sheriff deliver an eviction notice from he lawyer?! This just overwhelms me and I'm freaking out cuz the eviction notice doesn't even tell us when we need to be out by.....it doesn't even seem like they're using English. So confusing. I'm angry too. Just stressed out because I feel so hopeless. If our "friend" takes us to court for an eviction, that will be 2 under our belt.....it will be even MORE impossible to find a place to live. I want to scream! We don't have the money to move either, which is stressing me out to the max because I don't know where we're gonna get it. Anywhere we move their gonna want $2000 - $3000 up front and we don't even have $1000. I am overwhelmed by this.

My back has been out for the past 6 almost 7 weeks, and it's been a hell of a time with nothin for pain. I have a spinal injection scheduled for Monday - I hope it helps, or you may see my name in the papers.

So, yeah, this year has been awful. I want to commit myself into the hospital to get some help dealing with everything, but I can't cuz I have to find us a new place to live before July 1st. Plus I gotta go take care of my dad for a week starting the 7th. I am so stressed out and I need help. I'm trying to be strong, but I'm not strong. I don't know what to do. I feel myself slipping and it scares me. I am at a loss. Starting to not wanna be here anymore. It's just too much.